Hiker Confessional

OK. This is needed. This is where you did something unorthodox on the trail.



Last year, I had a cardinal wilderness sin and lost my map somewhere off trail in Desolation Wilderness.

For penance, I picked up every piece of trash I could find on the way out.

I had a small stuff sack disappear - presumable blew away in the Flattops Wilderness last summer.

I've since collected lots of trash in Rocky Mtn NP and elsewhere.

A couple years ago, I had sex on the trail. I made up for it by having sex off the trail.

i once peed 99.5 feet from a stream instead of the recomended 100 feet

For two years I signed in in the North Carolina Forests as Eric Rudolph.

LOL! Honestly.

I ogled gemini's butt for 5 miles while we hiked up to Mt Sterling fire tower.

Perfect.

All who come to the LO Confessional arrive dirty and leave clean.

Wait, the pope is supposed to be offering pardons.

Oh POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPPPE...

I really did pee in that spring so many years ago.

I <i>knew</i> it!

Yes Ped..Honestly...apparently they really never checked those sign ins all that Da#n closely

That is funny. And when I wrote "honestly" I meant that honestly laughing out loud.

It would have been a hoot if they'd launched a search.

The truth is they more or less knew "where" he was. The problem was when he would break in a rob a house the Feds would treat the homeowners like criminals. A friend of mine is actually a US Marshal and he said the ATF agents who interviewed his Parents was a blithering idiot. So I am guessing they knew it was not Eric. (LOL)

The last time I climbed Gothics, I used the cables to aid me on the descent in dry conditions.

For SHAME!!!!

I went into the Enchantments (Alpine Lakes Wilderness) via a secret route. This is an incredibly popular area and they have a lottery for permits. The USFS is really anal about backpackers going in via their two 'official' routes, hiking and camping only when/where they want you, permits must be displayed, yadda, yadda... We decided to be rebellious and go in via a cross-country route. When we ran into a Wilderness Ranger, she was really huffy with us, but there's nothing in the fine print that says you can't do what we did.

Yet.

I wore cotton.

My original handle was supposed to be 'Bioline', but I misspelled it.

I killed a torll and dropped bits of him at every stream crossing for miles.

Violin, (the REAL ONE) that is more of bragging than a confession/....


Like the old man who sat down in the confessional and responded to the Priest by saying,"Vell, I am Seventy Four Years old. I have been married for Fifty Four years and last weekend I spent the night with two 18 year old girls."

The Priest says,"How long has it been since your last confessional?"

The Man replies,"Vat? I ain't never been to confessional Heck I am jewish."

The Priest says (rather grumpily): "WHY THE HELL ARE YOU TELLING ME?"

The Man replies,"Vat? I am telling everyone."

I once left a turd in someone's backpack.

I went to FYAO 2005 with ENS and Henry(#2 son).
We arrived at the trail head about midnight and set up the tent right there. The "urge to purge" struck me while in the sack and it was about zero degrees out.
I had to hustle since the train was arriving at the station at any moment and found myself leaning against a tree mere spittin' distance from the road.
By the time I dropped the HUGE steaming pile I was near frozen and dashed back to my sack thinking that I could use sticks to chuck it into the woods in the morning.
The next morning I found some sticks and tried to do the right thing but the massive pile would not budge. I even tried to kick it loose........no luck.
Come spring thaw I'm sure someone was pleased to find my masterpiece.

Note to file: HMM okay that was not a Bad Baby Ruth Bar in backpack on that trip......

LOL..not me, but a friend who backpacks in California uses a "Mello Yellow" Bottle for his "PEE Pot". One winter he felt the call late at night, used the bottle and stuck it in the snow outside his tent.

Early the next morning he was awakened by someone whispering about "Look Mello Yellow" WOW!.....then there was a cruching of snow....and you get the photo.

Forgive me ranger for I have sinned...

I carry an MP3 player. [duck and cover]

It's a shame you can't carry a tune........you could leave that HEAVY thing home.

(duck and cover)

Heh. I was backpacking with three buddies, and the last night of the trip, one of the guys thought it would be funny to put several rocks under my sleeping pad. I noticed it before I got into my bag, but still swore revenge. As we packed up the next day, I slipped a boulder (not a rock, but a 5 pounder) into the bottom of the guy's pack. He pissed and moaned about how his pack should have been lighter at the end of the trip, not heavier... The other guys knew what I'd done, but didn't let on. We had a great laugh back at the trailhead.

Well, three of us did anyway.

That picture of you makes you look younger, Kleets.

Kleet...YEARS ago (talking 1982 ish) we were in Colorado doing some 'stuff" and one of the officers had a brilliant plan to climb Uncumpagre (SP) in the south west corner. After a greuling climb (me with the med pack) we get to the top.....One of the guys looks at me and says, "Man A cold beer would be great now."

Then he reaches into the insulated portion of the pack, reserved for perishables, and pulls out a chilled six pack......I climbed the mountain with HIS beer (LOL)...okay I got one too.

I put about 5lbs of rocks in Curahee's pack going up Inadu trail in the smokies.

I make mrs opie carry all the food, and stove, and water filter, and sometimes my sleeping bag....ohh and my spare boots.


I also hike slower than Gem...on purpose.

Anyone here pull a rosie casals? You know take a vehicle instead of hiking a section? (LOL)

I've never done anything wrong on the trail! Or off!

Just a small note...she did "clarify" the denial

and I'm really a hiking nun

Hey Jen...we can start a nunhood...or whatever they call it!

Hiking Angels!

oooo. I like it crazygurl!

Hiking Mother Superiors comes to mind...LOL....THe guys can be the monks from Holy Grail....Imagine early one morning the other hikers relaxing as they hear the "Ora mnobis dominae" then the THWAK as we hit ourselves in the head with boards......as we go hiking by in single file....

Are you wearing monk robes and we are wearing habits?

you know...for some reason that's no so hard to imagine

i'm already part of a group called the bad habits

OMG...that is so funny!!!!

Is it a hiking group?

no, it's actually a group of women who dress up as nuns. we lip sing to different music. i believe the last "act" we did was a song from the sister act movie. It's lots of fun. we don't get to do it very often though.

OMG....you have to video it!

can I watch, lol

Someone in our group as a video. I'll see if I can find it,

give me a moment, i'll pick out one.

Are you still thinking???

Pammie...you trying to pick out a confession? Make it a good one!

having sex in the tent right accross the street from a troop of Boy Scouts.

and it was too hot to shut the window. we think it was too dark to see. we tried to be quiet.

we got a lot of funny and/or disgusted looks from the adults the next day.

i didn't care, i didn't know the troop they were from out of state.

LOL!

The shame of it all!!! Sounds like it was HOT! ;-)

Sex is much better in a tent anyway. Way to go Pamma!